Harry Potter Parody of AWESOMENESS
by Wjiaei
Summary: Basically an extreemly random, funny summary of the 1-7 of the Harry Potter books. Each "book" is about a paragraph long except for the last three or four. :


So most of this is based on the movies, but some of it is about the books too.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Harry Potter, but my friend and I were arguing over a story we were writing and she said basically what I wrote for the first and second "books". I thought it was so funny I HAD to post it!

Also, I have NO problem with OCD's. In fact, I think I'm OCD. So if I offend any OCD's out there I'm sorry. :'(

Oh, and Harry Potter doesn't belong to me, it's all by J.K. Rowling... blah blah blah.

Book 1

Well, what does Harry Potter do? He runs around in his little wizarding school and finds a little bald guy and Harry's like; "You made my parents go boom with your little tazer stick and now I'm going to kill you!" and Voldemort's like, "I'm on the back of some guys head, so you have NO business bothering me!" But Harry is distracted by the mirror behind him and he's thinking; 'I look good.' But then there's a rock in his pocket, and he's like, "why is there a rock in my pocket?"

Book 2

Harry comes back for another year and finds a giant hole under the toilets with a snake in it and he goes; "DUDE! The janitors are SO getting fired for this! Who lets a giant snake live under the toilets with a crazy kid who's not even real yelling snakey, snakey. " Then he finds a hat and goes, "OOOOH! A tall pointy hat!" and puts it on. But something is in the hat! And it's in upside-down! (someone didn't read the label!) and he's stabbed through the head (Like a unicorn) and he's like; "OMG! Who puts swords in hats anyway?"

Book 3

Harry finds out he has a godfather who's like a dog and Harry's like; "Yay! I finally get a puppy!" And his godfather has "issues" with rats so he attacks Harry's friend Ron's rat and drags him down a hole. Hermione and Harry are like: "OMG!" before Hermione's like; "oooh! Look at me pretty necklace!" and she like turns it and they go back in time and throw rocks at themselves!

Book 4

So theres like the giant cup in the middle of the room and Harry just ran all the way to Hogwarts so he's like, "OMG! I'm thirsty." So he sticks his hand into the goblet, but he was writing his name on a piece of paper and he had 'Awesome School' written on it so he was chosen for this game. And Harry's like: "GAME!" so they go pet the dragons and eat dragon-baby omlets and Harry's like; "this is a boring game." Then the go underwater and flure's like "OMG! MY SIS GONNA DIE!" and everyones like "YAY!" Then theres like a maze, and the bald guys at the center and harry's like "OMG!" and then he's like "OOOOH! I won the game! Haha, Cedric got blowsies upsies."

Book 5

So the little bald guy's helpers are like in prison and the Bellatrix one is like OCD and she finds a button and ya know what happens with OCD's and buttons. So she like pushes it and the wall blowses upsies. Then Harry's all like; "Feel bad for me cuz my parents got blowed up by a tazer stick." But then he's like, "I'll show you how to fight but you'll never be as good as me." Then there like caught and the hippie headmaster gets tazed by the tazer stick and Harry's like "oops." Then they're like; "Lets go kill the little bald guy!" so they go into this office place and harry finds this arch and Harry's like; "The arch is talking to me…" and everyones like "NO!" But then the OCD Bellatrix is like; "TALKING ARCH! You go first Sirius!" So she shoves dog-man through and he's like dead now so… whoops.

Book 6

So the hippie guy went back to the doctor and he's all better now. Except on the way home, his grandma was like; "Since you was such a good boy at the surgery, we'll get you a present! What do you want?" and since the hippie was easily distracted, he saw a shiny ring that he bought. But then the ring made his hand fry and he was all mad and stuff (He also has anger issues) so he stabbed it with the same sword that made Harry a unicorn. Then he's like, "Harry! I know where to get the best wine ever! Wanna come? And don't tell anyone so we don't have to give them any!" "OKAY!" Harry replied. Then they zap themselves with their tazer sticks and end up on top of a giant cliff, and then a cave. They get the VIP ferry because the hippie was the guy who ran Hogwarts. Then the hippies like; "Harry, I made a bet with the little bald guy that I could drink all the wine in that bucket, so you HAVE to make me keep going. Cuz if I can't drink it all, I have to give him my tazery stick and it's all powerful and stuff." So harry makes him drink it all then the hippie is like "GIVE ME WATER OR GIVE ME DEATH!" but Harry is distracted by a locket in the bottom of the wine bucket and he's thinking, 'maybe I can give this to Ginny and she'll go out with me'. Then they go back to the castle and Snape is like on the side of the bald guy for the bet, so he's like; "You didn't REALLY drink all the wine!" then his tazed him again with his tazer stick.

Book 7

So the little bald guys all mad at Harry cuz he helped the hippie win the bet, so now he's like forcing everyone to go after him to kill him. But Harry's like; "I gotta go to a wedding!" But the wedding gets crashed by a glowy white animal and everyone freaks out and people who are NOT dressed for the wedding show up and everyones like; "OMG! You're not dressed for the wedding!" So they beat them up. But Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all wimpy so they run away. Then Hermione pulls a tent out of her purse so they can hide from the under-dressed wedding guests and the sore loser bald guy. But the tent is too small and no one can fit in it cuz it's like tiny. So they go get another tent. But Ron doesn't like this tent so he like goes bye bye. Then Harry sees this glowy deer and he's also easily destracted by shiny things so he follows it to this pond. Then Harry's like; "OOH! POOL!" and he jumps in. Then Ron decides he likes the tent so he comes back. Then they go talk to this crazy dude in a tall house. He says, "You wanna hear a story?" And everyone's like, "YAY! STORYTIME!" But they don't like the story, and Ron overreacts by calling the cops. But the cops turn out the be the under-dressed wedding guests! So everyone runs away! Except for the crazy dude, he starts yelling at them about what they're wearing. Then, on the way back to the tent, they get caught by some of the people on the bald guy's side of the bet and are taken to go talk to the bald guy. But when they get there, they find an old classmate and they find out that the bald guys also mad at Harry cuz he doesn't like his birthday. So then they're like, "When are you're birthdays?" to Hermione and Ron, and their like; "YOU'LL NEVER GET IT OUT OF US!" So they start tourtureing Hermione and she's like, "Stop hitting me with your tazer stick!" Then this creepy well-dressed dwarf man shows up and he's like, "BELLATRIX! YOU'RE OCD! YOU SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED NEAR BUTTONS!" and Bellatrix is like, "I CAN GO NEAR BUTTONS IF I WANT TO!" But she also has severe anger issues so she stabes him in the chest and he's like "ow." And dies. Then they go to this cottage and meet this other dwarf guy (Who's NOT as well dressed) and make them take them to a bank. Cuz they wanna get back at the bald guy by stealing something from his vault. Then they go there and the dwarf guy's like, "MWAHAHAHA! I WAS ON THE BALD GUY'S SIDE OF THE BET THE WHOLE TIME! HE'LL COME KILL YOU NOW!" But the then the dragon who's near the vault is like, "He's mean." And fasizzles him with fire. Then he takes Hermy, Ron, and Harry to Hogwarts. But everyones like sleeping on hammocks in a secret room. Then they all go out and start attacking the under-dressed wedding guests outside cuz now they wanna crash THIS wedding. (Between Harry and Ginny) And Harry and Ginny are SUPER mad so they're like "We'll tazer you with our tazer sticks!" But it doesn't go well cuz people start falling out windows and get tazered by tazer sticks. So Harry's like, "I'm gonne be all noble and stuff and go face the little bald guy myself and settle this once and for all." But then the little bald guy tazers Harry and then Harry goes and talks to the hippie guy who lost the bet and he's like, "how can you just blame this on me?" The hippie gets mad and shoves him on a train to leave. But Harry's like, "Where does the train go?" and the hippie's like "On." And then a random third person says "On? Isn't that somewhere near Pakistan?" (My friend said this when we first saw the movie). But Harry's like "I WANNA GO HOME!" But Harry's tired from his journey so he falls asleep. The little bald guy thinks he's dead and he's like, "YES! I FINALLY GOT MY REVENGE FOR LOSING THE BET!" Then he decides to go brag to everyone that he won. By the time they got back to the castle to brag, Harry woke up and was like, "What the heck? You did NOT win! You shall never win!" Then he's like, "Lets settle this once and for all! Winner lives." And the bald guys like "Fine." So Harry tazers him with his tazer and the bald guy goes pif and turns into paper and all the teachers at the wizarding school are like "YES! Now we don't have to buy paper! We can just use Voldemort!"


End file.
